At least when President Donald Trump nonsensically asked his coronavirus task force if we could inject ourselves with “ultraviolet” or “the disinfectant,” we were all running like chickens with heads cut off in a desperate pursuit to escape a once-in-a-century pandemic. And while Trump rambled about using “the heat and the light” to treat the mysterious Chinese virus, his Operation Warp Speed was racing to create what was arguably the most successful vaccination campaign in human history, with injections administered to the public less than a year after COVID landed on American soil. Monday’s press conference room was the funhouse...