Taylor Swift, Pennsylvania Christmas tree farm native, is allegedly dating Matty Healy, who was, up until news broke of their purported romance, best known to me as a guy who eats raw meat on stage when performing with his band, the 1975. But you probably already know this because, since their relationship was all but confirmed (followed by recent reports of a breakup), nobody’s been able to shut up about it. Specifically about how Healy is apparently problematic, which makes Swift problematic, which means—according to think pieces, tweets, and several thousand comments on the celebrity gossip subreddit r/Fauxmoi—she needs to...