The gifts of Russian President Vladimir Putin have attached mostly to the civics realm: alongside catastrophes for those under his boot, he has provided the world with a valuable lesson on the dangers of unchecked power. This week has added to his ledger: Putin has helped kill off of the fictitious language of Moldovan, thus reducing the sum of nonsense in the world. To understand the Moldovan issue, one must imagine American colonists whose rage over taxation without representation has overwhelmed their faculties to the point where they decide to pretend their language is not English but American—and commence printing...