Political and cultural warfare in the United Kingdom has now breached the sanctum of its favourite game, one of the last few havens of national unity. The shattered haven in question is Match of the Day, a Saturday night programme on BBC that shows and dissects highlights of the day’s Premier League football (soccer) action. It is the longest-running football show in the world, having begun in 1964. It has had the same theme tune since 1970, and, with an average audience of two million plus (far more for cup finals), a substantial share of the population can hum it...